January 22. 2004 13:00

Going back

I cried when I left Japan. When the plane started rolling towards the airstrip I whispered last words of goodbye the country and tears started flowing from my eyes. I couldn't stop until we rose above the ground and even after that the tears returned every now and then, up until we were so far that I couldn't see Japan anymore. It was like leaving a dear friend while knowing that you might never see again. As I write this and think about it, I start crying again. I'm so sad. I want to go back. It might take time, but I'll go there again.

The last hours in Kyoto I spent at Dion's. I decided not to sleep as it would be easier to just stay up until 5 or so when I had to set off. When I went to Dion's I was in a state of thorough panic... It was one of those pure panics that make your eyes wide. Even with all the stuff I sent, I had trouble fitting everything into my bags, and I was really worried because leaving something behind was not an option. When I left Finland it was easy, I could just leave everything at my parents' and I knew they'd take care of it, but this time there was nobody I could leave stuff to. The main problem were my two stuffed toys, the Cinnamorol pillow and the my Tako-chan, which took a lot of space (even though they were not that heavy). I had to leave my plates back there because I couldn't fit them into the bags. It's probably better that way, but I had become attached to my tableware and wished I could take it with me. I ended up sitting on my suitcase to get it closed and filling my small bag and my "flap bag" to the brim and then putting a couple last things to my pockets O_o I also had one of those straw hats you can see on workers on rice fields and I carried that on my hands. I'm amazed that I got into the plane with all that O_o C'mon, I had 2 pieces of hand baggage and a big hat with me. I'm also surprised that my big suitcase wasn't more than 3 kilos overweight, it felt like more. My arms almost gave in when I had to drag them through the city.

Anyway, yeah, I was at Dion's. I drew a picture for Ton in a sketchbook he had left for me (to write in), and also a few images in Dion's sketchbook because he had carelessly left it unguarded on the bed next to me and I felt like drawing more. I also watched Dion play some more FFXI. Then he wanted to go to bed (and I had to get leaving anyway), so I force-hugged him for goodbyr (:P) and left. (I'm glad that I insisted on hugging him, by the way, it left me with a nice feeling of content, like I had brought things to "a nic end" in Kyoto and was ready to leave, without regrets.) Then I went to collect my stuff and started my last journey through Kyoto, for now. It was snowing beautifully when I left.

Getting through the check-in was a bit of a hassle. They wanted me to take my computer out of my bag when they "x-rayed" it and I was not prepared for that at all, and had packed the computer at the very bottom. They never asked me to take it out in Finland! So, I had to stop at the side of the queue and unpack my bag to get the comp out, and then re-pack it again on the other side... It was very inconvenient ^_^;; I was also caught in the metal detector, because of my shoes and something else (that might've been my keychain but I don't know), so I had to take off my shoes and get checked. I felt like a really difficult case, heh. At the airport I got myself some plum wine and a set of sake to be shared between me and a friend. (Two bottles in one.) After that I had another bag with me, so 3 bags in total now, plus the hat ^_^;; But still nobody said anything to me. Oh, and then I got the original novel of Howl's Moving Castle (by Dianne Wynne Jones) so I could read it in the plane ^_^ (It seems like an interesting book. Even though they say that the plot of the movie is very different from the book, this far it's been the same. I'm only in the third or fourth chapter, though.)

Sunrise above the coulds is really pretty, by the way.

It's such a joy to be able to ask details about things in clear Finnish. I want to ask about how the luggage is handled when I connect to Turku from Helsinki. It's great to be able to ask anything I want, with just the right words, and being able to understand everything about the answer or ask for more details. The most difficult thing about Japan was that getting info was really hard. But I'll miss hearing Japanese around me all the time... I really like the language.

Will Finland feel totally different when I get back?

...

[Note: This was basically written during the flight home, on the second last page of my sketchbook, but I had to revise a lot of it when I wrote it on the computer. I had been up for about 26 hours when I wrote it originally, so my head wasn't working that well ^_^;; (I was up for 39 hours in total, from the second last night in Japan to the first night in Finland.) However, having this as a separate entry makes more sense, so I made it one, even though I wrote parts of it in the evening of 23rd of January.]